Am I happy? Am I satisfied? And, most important, am I WELL? It’s summertime, and it’s such a different, slow summer, as I am for once taking real time off. I finally allowed myself to slow down, and I feel more alive than I have during the so many years of too much busy-ness.
I feel satisfied – with where I am in my life, and because of it, I don’t need to be ‘on’ all the time, to live in the fast lane, or to ‘seize the day’. My days are good. My life is good.
I feel happy – most days, not in an extravagant way, but I am quietly pleased, content and I feel I lead a full, yet slower life. It allows me to enjoy each day, instead of rushing through them.
I feel well, because I am taking some down time for me, and because I am slowing down significantly. To me, feeling well is about being on the right track, doing what I need to do for myself to be centred, peaceful, to grow, to re-generate and re-source, to re-connect with what makes life real.
Slowing down feels weird and disconcerting. Sometimes I feel bored, anxious and antsy. I think that’s part of slowing down. It feels like detox. I am less tolerant of well-meaning, antsy and demanding people. I have limited emails, phone calls, texting and all electronics… and it feels good, to experience quiet. Having less interruptions feels like freedom. My social is spare now, without feeling bored, useless or guilty. Creating space in my life makes it easier to have more to offer to the people I love; it makes it easier to see what counts – and what doesn’t. It becomes easier to say yes and to say no.
As I slow down, I am going through a phase where I don’t feel like doing much at all. I walk daily, I enjoy the sunlight and the sunsets. I read novels. I have relaxed and real conversations. I do easy home things, paint a wall, putter. I garden a bit. I prepare and share healthy, simple food to enjoy slowly. Nothing big. Nothing rushed. I rest lots. I watch thunderstorms and birds. I have fun making my living space more likeable and comforting. It’s all slow, quiet and strangely comforting.
I sleep way more and I stress way less. I walk more and rush less. I have more silence and quiet times; less people and interruptions. And until today, I keep my computer writing limited. I try to look for other creative outlets that fit me as I am now…
I have time to imagine and dream. I take time to make my garden both simple and beautiful. I ride my bike slowly to get really fresh tomatoes at a farmer’s market, then stop and read under a tree. I prepare and share simple food. I pick flowers, sew curtains and make my living space beautiful and comforting. I walk often and ride my bike slowly, contemplating all the beautiful summer greens and watching sunsets… Alone or with someone close. I enjoy doing something simple and useful – it feels good. It feels that’s the way life should be – just good enough. Not big flashes or extravaganza. Just nice.
Nothing to keep me ‘busy’ – nothing big. Just enough to feel I am alive, and doing something useful, hopeful, fun and creative. This is what living is about, for me, right now.